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Sunday, July 3rd, 2011
9:18 pm - wELP.

I am a male. (*points at dilznick*)
I am a girl.
I am shorter than 5’4.
I think I’m ugly sometimes.
I have scars.
 (and not the sexy kind)
I tan easily. 
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance (I AM A FAT WHALE OF A MAN)
I have/I’ve had braces.
I wear glasses or contacts. (I have refused to consider laser eye surgery because glasses make me look less like an ambulatory human thumb)
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. (if Lipo counts.  Just roll in whenever you blimp up)
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.  (Trust me, I’m just as shocked as you)
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercing in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.
I’ve sworn at my parents.  (Not out of anger that I can remember, but I did once scream “FUCK YOU LEEME FUCK ALONE FUCK YOU FUCK YOU” while asleep when my mom knocked on my door.  She was quite pissed off; I didn’t even remember it)
I’ve run away from home.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I have a sibling less than six years old.
I want to have kids someday.
I’ve lost a child.
I’m in school.
I have a job.  (shyeah….FUCKIN’!)
I’ve fallen asleep at work/school. 
I almost always do/did my homework. 
I’ve missed a week or more of school. 
(One hell of a staph infection)
I failed more than 1 class last year. 
I’ve stolen something from my job. 
I’ve slipped out an “lol” in a spoken conversation. 
(usually ironically)
Disney movies still make me cry. (This shouldn’t be bolded, so a big “fuck you” to the first ten minutes of ‘Up’)
I’ve snorted while laughing.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve had my trousers rip in public. 
(Not where anyone saw, thankfully)
I was born with a disease/impairment.
I’ve gotten stitches/staples. 
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.
I’ve had measles.
I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Mexico.
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Japan.
I’ve celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I’ve been to Europe.
I’ve been to Africa.
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts. 
(This is how me and my friends shake hands, for the record)
I’ve been to a casino. 
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny dipping. (Apologies for the mental image)
I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a play.  (…when I was five.)
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern lights.
I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
I’ve played chicken fight.
I’ve played a prank on someone
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten sushi.  (not a big fan; the shrimp tempura rolls at a local japanese place may change that)
I’ve been snowboarding.
I’m single.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper. 
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back. 
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.
I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
I am a snuggler.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.
I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
I’ve snuck out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve cheated on a test.
I’ve run a red light. 
I’ve been suspended from school.
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight. 
(not since I was 12)
I’ve been arrested.
I’ve consumed alcohol.
I regularly drink.
I’ve passed out from drinking.  (My response when I hated a party in college was to find a corner, and drink quietly to the point of oblivion.  Minus one case where I accused a girl in attendance of being part of the Zionist Bankers secretly running the country, yelled about how the Freemasons and the Trilateral Commission removed the rails from the staircase, and then peed all over the back porch while cackling.  That was memorable.)
I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
I’ve smoked weed.
I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them. 
(…in the last six months.  In the last two weeks.  My fondness of, and appetite for, opiates scares me sometimes.)
I’ve eaten shrooms.
I’ve popped E.
I’ve inhaled Nitrous.
I’ve done hard drugs.
I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
I have at one stage in my life been diagnosed with depression. (The reason this isn’t bolded is the “diagnosed” part)
I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
I’ve had a disorder no one has believed me about.
I shut others out when I’m depressed.
I take anti-depressants. 
(Zoloft ahoy)
I’ve had EDNOS, Anorexia nervosa or bulimia.
I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
I’ve hurt myself on purpose. 
(Not in a cutter kind of way, more in a “let’s see how sharp this knife actually iAAAAUGH” and “I wonder if this burner’s still hoAAAAUGH” moron hayseed kind of way)
I’ve woken up crying.  (I still remember the nightmare that caused this with perfect clarity 14 years later.)
I’m afraid of dying. (It’s not dying that bothers me so much as the idea of non-existence; the idea that, due to the inconvenience of being dead, I’ll miss something interesting)
I hate funerals. 
I’ve seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has committed suicide. 
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an iPod or MP3 player.  (a Zune.  Fuck you, haters gonna hate.)
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books. (Okay, I only buy the trade paperbacks of The Walking Dead, but I guess that counts)

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Friday, January 2nd, 2009
9:48 pm - !!!!!!!!! UPDATE !!!!!!!!111

I didn't even throw up once!

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Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
1:16 am - Holy Shit

People are actually celebrating in the streets in my neighborhood at this late hour.  This is just plain crazy.  I don't know what's more shocking, that, or the fact that traditionally red NC is still too close to call at midnight, or the fact that Elizabeth Dole was ahead in the polls a week ago until she aired that stupid 'Godless' ad and got her ass handed to her by damn near 10 points, or that we have a female governor now.  Wow.

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Tuesday, October 14th, 2008
8:45 am

current mood: amused

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Friday, July 18th, 2008
10:57 pm - A Slightly Altered Memequizweb2.0 Thing

Same idea as the Book thing going around, but using the IMDB Top 250.  Rules -
1) Look at the list and bold those you have seen.
2) Italicize those you intend to see.
3) Underline the movies you LOVE.
4) Strike out the movies you have no intention of ever watching.
5) Bold and strike movies you watched but hated.
6) Reprint this list in your own LJ

Read more...Collapse )

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Sunday, July 6th, 2008
10:45 pm - hay hay book meme

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed.
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Strike out the books you have no intention of ever reading.
5) Bold and strike books you read but hated.
6) Reprint this list in your own LJ

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 The Harry Potter Series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible (OK I read Genesis and Revelation and a bit of Proverbs and giggled at Leviticus)

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck (so long ago I remember none of it)
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville (I got through maybe 300 pages and said "know what, fuck you" and stopped)
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

I struck out very little, because I hate to rule anything out, but fuck if I ever intend to spend time reading Jane Austen because I can't bear a bunch of white women saying supposedly charming witty things to each other and having tea parties in their big fuck-off hats.  Also, fuck Charles Dickens.

Also I can never find Watership Down in the damn bookstore.

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Saturday, December 8th, 2007
9:45 pm - This is clearly inaccurate

NerdTests.com says I'm a Nerd King.  What are you?  Click here!

I have bought exactly 8 comic books in 13 years and overall am not a huge fan of Sci Fi, with, er, certain exceptions

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Tuesday, June 26th, 2007
5:29 am - and in the dark humor department...
I didn't have my camera with me so I couldn't snap a picture, so here's a photoshop approximation of a license plate I spotted on the way to work recently

current mood: amused

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Monday, June 4th, 2007
12:09 am - Is it just plain sad...
...or does it speak for the quality of the thing that a TV show should induce a sense of doom and tension in me? Jesus God.

Non-HBO subscribers, feel free to ignore.

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Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007
2:29 pm - 11 hours in a car with a large englishman...
...are made alot more entertaining when he belts out the occasional "MYAAAAAAY!" inbetween ruminations on whether Denny's or Waffle House is better (Waffle House Krew yo, kovered smovered peppah'd n capped 4 lyfe dogg serious times).

Anyway, I have returned from Florida's gulf coast which is shockingly cheap compared to NC, and shockingly modest when compared to the 20-story monstrosities that dot places like Myrtle Beach SC.

Anyway, pictures and video of the concert are both up...photos of drunken fatties cavorting on white sand will come later.

All in all I was very surprised by how much I liked this show, as I was expecting something that was largely a retread of the 99-00-02 tours minus the DSotM set, but those tours are astonishingly low-key in comparison.

In other news, I quit my horrible job today. Well, gave two weeks notice...my last day is June 6th. ROCK.

current mood: ecstatic

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Thursday, May 17th, 2007
1:21 pm - good tiiiiiimes
So yesterday I have to get up at 4:30am because Jen has smoke school in Wilmington (apparently working for NCDENR's air quality division requires you to pass a test every six months where you rate the opacity of smoke columns according to a ridiculous and completely arbitrary scale), and I want to accompany so we can fart around in New Hanover county all day. Which we do. I got maybe 3 hours of sleep the previous night, and when we got home I was up until 11:30 burning DVD-Rs and packing stuff (I could have completed this earlier, but I ain't waitin' till next week to watch Lost dammit). Today when I get off work in an hour and a half or so, I have to drive half an hour back to Fayetteville, finish getting my shit together, and at 5pm drive 3 hours to Charlotte. Then at 8am tomorrow, go pick up a rental car and drive 10 more hours down to Tampa, Florida with a big huge englishman as navigator and co-pilot.

Basically, I'm living in a car lately.

When I return Monday I should hear 100% for sure whether or not I get that other job. Sweet.

As an unrelated aside, ever since moving into the apartment, Jen has commented on a habit I've developed that disturbs me : talking in my sleep. She says it's usually a soft chat with an up-and-down cadence that is unintelligible...but in the last couple of months, I have apparently started using my hands to gesticulate while doing this sleep-talking, pointing at or gesturing to whoever I am apparently talking to, and at one point last week I had a fucking [i]shouting match[/i] with some unseen adversary. I apologized profusely; I can't imagine how weird and disturbing it must be to have your companion wake you up, having a loud passionate argument in his sleep. This bothers me, as I never talked in my sleep before we moved in there and [b]definitely[/b] never shouted. She seems nonplussed and slightly amused by it.

current mood: contemplative

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Thursday, November 30th, 2006
1:14 pm - thanks for this, BYOB

best picture ever.

for anyone interested who doesn't know, I've started uploading stuff to my YouTube page, mostly the better timelapses I've done.

current mood: working

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Thursday, September 7th, 2006
9:25 pm - Welp, I did it.
Moved out, that is. I am now a citizen of Fayettenam (fun fact : in Wikipedia's picture of downtown, the woman's workplace is visible).

My week has proceeded thus :
Sat : work 8a-10p
Sun : work 8a-10p
Mon : up until 4am packing stuff, moving stuff to Raeford 12:00pm-9:00pm
Tue : moving to new apartment 7:30am-1:30pm, 1:30-2:00pm getting electric in our names (fun fact : since she has some sort of credit with utility companies, putting it in her name saved us a $300 fee), 2:00-4:00pm, getting stuff from Wal-Mart that we needed,
4:00-7:30pm, trying to sort furniture, 8:00p-9:00p TV break (only break of the day besides lunch), 9:00p-2:00a unpacking
Wed : Drive home, take care of some business at the bank, work 3:00p-10:00p
Thu : work 8a-10p
Fri : work 8a-10p

When I work these two doubles a week (shitty hours to work, but it gives me 4 days off a week), I stay here at work overnight, so I've only gotten to spend one night in the new place.

I've also had a hellish time with the cable company. A short history :
Sat 9/2 : I call to arrange service and hookup. The lady says someone should be out there Tue 9/5. Great.
Tue 9/5 : I call them. "I dunno why she said Tue, it will be Thu at the earliest"
Thu 9/5 : I call them. "I dunno why he said Thu, it will be next Tue 9/12 at the earliest, and another 4-5 days for service after that (approx 9/15)"
Tue 9/5 : Jen goes to the cable office in person. "I dunno why he said next Tue 9/12, it will be Thu 9/14 at the earliest".

Fuck you, Time Warner. I need internet access >:(

current mood: Livid

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Saturday, July 15th, 2006
10:17 am - See y'all in a week

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Wednesday, July 12th, 2006
12:15 pm - I had a job interview today
Hotel Font Desk with the following additional duties : driving the company van to pick up "contract guests" like Greyhound drivers and Amtrak engineers and sundry other guests; cleaning what rooms the housekeepers didn't get to (apparently they leave at 9am?!?!) for a $1 per room bounty...

All for the princely sum of $6/hr with a raise to $7 within a year.

Thanks but no thanks...hell I *started* my current job at $7 and that was 4 years ago

current mood: awake

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Monday, June 26th, 2006
3:19 pm - E10 Fuel is Bullshit man
OK, I was happy when our local "green fuel" station opened. E10 (10% Ethanol Blend)! E85! Biodiesel! Awesome!

I'm filling up with E10! I now consume 10% less gasoline than I used to for the same price! I am doing a tiny service to my country in order to help get us off the foreign oil tit! If everyone did what I did, why those screwheads in OPEC would be thrown for a loop wouldn't they!

That was a month ago. Today while looking at my gas spreadsheet (OK I'm enough of a fucking nerd to spreadsheet all my gas purchases from October 2004 to today), I realized that E10 has cut my personal gas consumption by 10%...but it has also reduced my fuel efficiency by 11% (from 27mpg to just under 25mpg). So by buying less gas, I wind up having to buy *more* gas just to go the same distance.

Man this is some stone cold bullshit.

current mood: busy

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Friday, June 23rd, 2006
6:16 pm - The Week in Review...BACKWARDS
Today : A customer walks all the way to the office to ask "There's three switches in the bathroom, I know one's the light, one's the fan, and one's the heat, but which one is which?"

Thursday : The woman finally gets a damn job six months after graduating and after 100+ applications and/or interviews. Dept of Air Quality or somesuch, state job, state benefits, woop woop

Monday :


I will count this as a successful week if numbnuts quit calling me asking me for a wakeup call and give me 2 minutes of fucking peace before I clock out

current mood: tired

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Sunday, May 21st, 2006
9:29 pm - Downers and speed, all the drugs that you need
While cleaning the hall closet this weekend, I found this gem, probably circa 1991 :

current mood: amused

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Sunday, May 7th, 2006
4:42 pm - Blogging in the Post-9/11 Wikisphere
I'm sure I'm ending alot of long-running betting pools about when I would update again, and I'm sorry I just haven't had the inclincation. The day to day comings and goings of my life are so unimaginably dull to me, I can't imagine how bad they would be to *you* people, so you should feel happy that I'm sparing you. Anyhoo, update time.

In August, me and Jen spent a week in Jackson, TN visiting a friend of hers. It was nice to have a week off for *anything*, especially after the way last summer went. June of '05 was the US Open, which I was pretty much left to handle entirely on my own, as management took 6 days of that week off. Thus I am left to organize everything from the housekeeping schedule to dealing with everyone's deposit and contracts to dealing with Restaurant Associates (a $50,000 contract) to counting boxes of fucking Kleenex. I still have room assignments for most of these people memorized, almost a full year later. As you can probably guess, I was not compensated for all the extra work.

This was followed in late July/early August by the National Black Biker Roundup, which was another weeklong clusterfuck headache of unimaginable proportions. I can't now say that I was never involved in high drama involving a group of 60 year old bikers.

So anyway, a week off was nice. Jackson was nice, if sort of a bizzarro version of the south that I'm used to. I never imagined I would see a group of black people selling Confederate memorobilia and t-shirts praising Nathan Bedford Forrest, one of the founding members of the KKK, but now thanks to some weird Flea Mall sale at the Jackson fairgrounds, I have. It also gave me the chance to add Tennessee (mostly very very nice), Missouri (oh god what is this flat hellhole), Arkansas (oh god what is more of this flat hellhole), and Mississippi (OH JESUS GOD TAKE ME BACK TO ARKANSAS OR SOMETHING) to my too-short list of states I've visited. I'll post pics of this trip (and other random pics) if anyone cares to see them. At least I finally crossed the Mississippi and heard a radio station whose call letters started with "K" before I die.

The fall was largely uneventful. In early December, Jen graduated with a BS (rofl lol lammo) in Environmental Biology. She has been applying for jobs since mid-November, all over the southeast (everything east of the Mississippi and south of the Mason-Dixon has been fair game), well over 100 applications sent out which has resulted in maybe a dozen phone or in-person interviews almost 6 months since she started looking. Do jobs still exist in this country? What the hell is going on here? Didn't a Bachelor's degree used to be good enough? Is a Bachelor's the new GED?

Anyway, I'm tired of typing and I'm at work anyway and was updating mostly out of boredom, so I guess I'll finish this in a later update. Stay tuned to see how I ruined another christmas!

current mood: bored

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Thursday, November 10th, 2005
4:25 am - aiaeieaaieaie
Promise a longer update soon, but in the meantine enjoy http://www.ebaumsworldsucks.com because it's full of fiber and joy and freedom.

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